We are influenced by everything, far more than we think.
What we see.
What we hear.
What we touch.
Smells, and tastes.
Everything that comes in through the five senses changes us, little by little.
Who we talked to.
What music we listened to.
What words we read.
What room we spent time in.
What we ate.
What views we saw.
Sometimes a single event changes a life, but more often people change much more quietly.
Influences too small to notice pile up. The way we think shifts, our mood shifts, our actions shift.
And one day, that pile becomes what we call "myself."
That's why I don't see much point in the idea of "becoming someone who isn't influenced by other people or their surroundings."
As long as we're human, we're influenced.
See an ad, and it influences you.
Scroll social media, and it influences you.
Someone's words can hurt you, or save you.
Some days the weather alone changes your mood.
You can't fully control that.
If anything, the people who think "nothing influences me" may be the ones least aware of what's influencing them.
What matters isn't avoiding influence.
It's deciding where you're going.
A ship at sea can't stop the wind. It can't erase the waves. But it can choose its destination.
For me, that's what habits and routines are for.
What I do in the morning. What I read. What I eat. Who I meet. What music I listen to. How I move my body. What I think about at the end of the day.
These aren't just self-management.
They're "tuning": a way to bring myself, constantly influenced by countless things from outside, back to my direction on a regular basis.
Just as an instrument slowly drifts out of tune each time it's played, people drift a little every day too.
When you're tired, you turn pessimistic. Keep scrolling social media, and you compare more. Look only at intense things, and quiet things stop satisfying you.
So you tune, again and again.
Exercise. Write. Take a walk. Read a book. Sleep. Be alone. Talk to someone who matters to you.
Have a few ways of your own to bring yourself back to the direction you want. That's what I mean by "keeping myself."
Still, being a creature that is influenced isn't only a weakness. It's also where compassion comes from.
Words can hurt people because people are sensitive. And words can save people for the same reason.
We can cry at music. We can remember someone's kindness for years. A single film can change how we live.
We are influenced.
That's exactly why we carry responsibility in this world.
My words might stay with someone. My attitude might change someone's day. Something I made might find its way into the life of a person I've never met.
That's not something to fear. It's just something not to forget.
I don't deny being influenced. I'm not trying to become so strong that nothing moves me.
Instead, I live on the assumption that I will be influenced.
And on top of that, I choose a little of what I take in. I decide where I want to go. And when I drift, I come back, as many times as it takes.
I can't fully control myself. I can't control the world either.
That's why I keep my own ways of tuning.
Maybe that's about the right amount for a human being.