Understanding why you can't change, through how habits work

2 min read

You want to change, and yet you repeat the same behavior. Before concluding "I'm someone who can't stick with things," try opening a book about how habits themselves work.

Why I recommend this book

Hard to Break: Why Our Brains Make Habits Stick explains how habits form from the perspective of neuroscience and psychology, and introduces research on changing behavior. It suits people who want to understand "why change is so hard" before collecting quick tips.

The reason I recommend it is that it gives you more ways of observing your own behavior. Instead of stopping at "I didn't have enough motivation," it becomes a way in to asking what triggers the same behavior, and in what situations.

Habits also hold up your daily life

The word "habit" may bring to mind only behaviors you want to quit. But as the publisher's description of the book points out, daily routines and the way we use tools also happen without much thought thanks to habit.

Some behaviors you want to change; others you want to keep. Seen that way, the aim isn't to control all your behavior, but to tell apart which habits you want to handle, and how.

Read it with one behavior in mind

When you read, pick one behavior that's been bothering you. For example, opening your phone before you start working. Jot down "when," "where," and "after what" for that behavior, and it becomes easier to match what the book says to your daily life.

This isn't a procedure from the book; it's a suggestion for reading it. Don't expect recording alone to change the habit. Use it first to make concrete what you want to learn.

For people who want to change themselves, and for people who want to understand themselves a little more carefully. A book I'd recommend when you want to take time to think about the background of a behavior before rushing to a simple answer.

Source for the book's content: the publisher's descriptions. I've summarized why I recommend it and how to read it based on those descriptions.