Books to read when you want to change your habits: six picks, and what later research found

5 min read

"This time I'll stick with it," you decide, and it's over in three days. When that happens, before adding more motivation, open a book that explains how it works.

On this site I've written about habits and self-image in "A goal without a system goes nowhere" and "Self-image changes long-term behavior." From the books I read or drew on along the way, I've picked six.

But some ideas from famous self-help books have turned out, in research after publication, to have "smaller effects than expected." So alongside each book, I've also noted caveats from later research.

Choosing by problem

1. Design small habits

James Clear

Atomic Habits treats a habit as a flow of cue, craving, response, and reward, and redesigns each step in small ways. Its idea of deciding "who you want to become" before setting goals overlaps with this site's "What kind of person do you want to be?"

Deciding "when, where, and what" in advance has been studied in psychology as implementation intentions, and an analysis of 94 studies showed a medium-to-large effect on reaching goals [1].

Caveat: how long a habit takes to become automatic varies a lot by person and behavior. In research, it ranged from 18 to 254 days [2]. Numbers like "21 days to form a habit" are best not used as a guide.

2. Learn how to use willpower

Kelly McGonigal

The Willpower Instinct (published in some markets as Maximum Willpower) is based on a Stanford University course and works through dealing with temptation and procrastination, with experiments and small exercises. It starts with observing the moments you give in to temptation, so it's easy to try things as you read.

Caveat: the book introduces research claiming that "willpower gets used up" (ego depletion). But a later large-scale replication across 23 labs found almost no effect [3]. Read the idea that "willpower is limited, so save it" without taking it as settled.

3. Think about staying power

Angela Duckworth

Grit calls passion and perseverance for long-term goals "grit," and argues that the ability to keep going matters more for achievement than talent. Its flow of growing interest and building deliberate practice is close to the thinking in "A goal without a system goes nowhere."

Caveat: an analysis combining 88 studies found the link between grit and performance to be moderate or weaker, and that grit overlapped heavily with the personality trait of conscientiousness [4]. Read grit not as the one force that decides success, but as one tool for keeping going.

4. Rethink your beliefs about ability

Carol S. Dweck

Mindset describes the difference between a "fixed mindset," which sees ability as set, and a "growth mindset," which sees it as something you can develop. Read it when you want to rethink labels like "I'm someone who can't stick with things."

Caveat: two meta-analyses on academic achievement found that both the link between mindset and grades, and the effect of interventions to change mindset, were small overall [5]. Use it together with changing your behavior, not just your thinking.

5. Understand habits through the brain

Russell A. Poldrack

Hard to Break: Why Our Brains Make Habits Stick explains how habits form, from neuroscience and psychology, and introduces research on changing behavior. It suits people who want to know "why change is hard" more than quick tips. I wrote more in why I recommend this book.

6. Understand why you can't stop

David J. Linden

The Compass of Pleasure unpacks the brain mechanisms behind what we feel as pleasure, from food and alcohol to gambling and even giving to charity. It's a way into rethinking habits you want to quit, not as weak willpower but as mechanisms. I wrote more in why I recommend this book.

After you read

Reading a book makes you feel changed. But change comes after you repeat an action.

When you finish, pick just one method that caught your eye, write down "when, where, and what," and do it once today. On days you don't keep it up, don't quit; just come back the next day.