"What do I need to do to change my life?"
When we ask that, we go looking for actions right away.
What time should I wake up?
What books should I read?
What habits should I build?
How many hours should I work?
What should I study?
Of course, action matters.
But there's something I want to think about first.
What kind of person do you want to be?
Decide who you are before what you do
Say you set a goal: "Read every day."
It might last the first few days. But when you get busy, or tired, or just aren't in the mood, you slowly drift back to how things were.
That's not unusual. Trying to change only your actions rarely lasts.
So try shifting the way you think about it.
Instead of "Read every day," think "I'm someone who keeps learning."
Instead of "Exercise five times a week," think "I'm someone who takes care of my body."
Instead of "Work harder," think "I'm someone who finishes what I decide to do."
Don't decide what to do. Decide what kind of person you are.
This is the idea of identity, or self-image. In this article I'll call it "self-image."
If no one were watching, how would you live?
Imagine something for a moment.
No money.
No title.
No social media.
No followers.
No one to praise you.
No need to prove you've succeeded.
Your parents, your friends, the world: none of them say anything about your life.
If the world were like that,
what kind of person would you want to be?
It's a surprisingly hard question.
"I want to be rich." "I want to be famous." "I want to succeed." Take all of those answers away for a moment.
What's left?
What do you want to value?
What do you want to make?
Who do you want to help?
What kind of body do you want to live in?
What kind of work do you want to do?
How do you want to spend your time?
And what kind of life would let you think of yourself as the person you want to be?
Not what you have, but how you are
When we think about life, we tend to look at what we have.
Income.
A house.
A car.
A job.
Followers.
Assets.
A title.
Wanting those things isn't bad in itself.
But they sit on the outside of a life.
Underneath is a more basic question: what kind of person will you live as?
Someone who doesn't run from hard things.
Someone who stays curious.
Someone who keeps promises.
Someone who takes care of their body.
Someone who makes time for family.
Someone who makes something every day.
Someone who fails and tries again.
Someone who keeps learning what they don't know.
Someone who has quiet time.
Someone who leaves behind something useful to others.
These aren't numbers in a bank account.
They take shape little by little, through how you live.
Self-image doesn't change in a day
"From today, I'm this kind of person." Declaring it doesn't change you.
What matters is giving that self-image small pieces of evidence.
If you think "I keep learning," read ten pages today.
If you think "I take care of my body," walk for twenty minutes today.
If you think "I make things," make one thing today.
If you think "I keep my promises," keep one small promise you made today.
Once changes almost nothing.
1 day.
7 days.
30 days.
90 days.
The evidence piles up.
Then, at some point, the ideal self-image you "wanted to be" starts turning into "this is who I am."
Self-image isn't only the words you tell yourself.
It's also the evidence you've built up about yourself.
Picture yourself 90 days from now
Let's imagine the future for a moment.
Ninety days have passed since today.
Your life doesn't need to be perfect. You don't need to be making lots of money. Every problem in your life doesn't need to be solved.
You're just a little stronger than now. A little healthier. You know a little more.
You made something. You tried something. You failed a few times. You kept going anyway.
Say those were your 90 days.
What would you want to be able to say about yourself?
"I tried."
"I didn't run."
"I made things."
"I kept going."
"I kept my promises to myself."
That becomes a great asset, in a different sense from money.
And that self-image changes how you act for the rest of your life.
Get a sheet of paper
From here, don't just read. Actually think it through. If you can, use paper and a pen instead of your phone.
First, write this:
When you're done, finish one last sentence.
One is fine. Three is fine.
"I'm someone who makes something every day."
"I'm someone who doesn't run from hard things."
"I'm someone who keeps learning."
"I'm someone who keeps promises to myself."
They don't need to be grand. If anything, it's better if they're things you can prove in daily life.
Make the first piece of evidence today
Once you've decided your self-image, do just one more thing.
Today, do one small thing that proves it.
If you're "someone who learns," read ten pages.
If you're "someone who values health," walk for twenty minutes.
If you're "someone who makes things," make one thing.
If you're "someone who takes on challenges," do one thing you've been avoiding because it scares you.
Then write it down.
That becomes the first piece of evidence that "this is who I am."
The moment a life changes isn't always dramatic.
Somewhere no one is watching, you decide, "This is how I'll live." Then you act on it, in a small way.
Days like that pile up, and people change little by little.
Ninety days from now, what kind of person do you want to be?
And today, leave one first piece of evidence toward becoming that person.